Aging Parents

About this time 22 years ago, my mother unexpectedly passed away with an aneurism. We were all in shock, to say the least because she seemed to be in very good health. My parents had recently celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary and she was a stay-at-home wife, mother and grandmother. She always doted on her children and grandchildren, and of course we were all devastated over losing her so quickly at the age of 62. I can only now sympathize with my dad over his feelings of loneliness and frustration as he tried to go about his daily life without his one and only sweetheart.

After a few months of fighting loneliness, his need to have someone to do things with grew stronger. He then asked a lady from his church to go out to eat and from then on their friendship blossomed. They married a year later and they have been married for 21 years. They are both now in their 80’s.

I have been so blessed to still have my dad who is 88 years young, still mows his lawn, fishes in tournaments with his bass club, works out three days a week at the fitness center, does chores around the house and much, much more.

Even though he is in good shape and is still very active, I know it won’t be long until my brother and I will have to be making some important decisions regarding his welfare. This came to my attention just this week when he fell outside in the yard and bruised his chest and had to have his hand bandaged from falling in the gravel.

This is where the Serenity prayer comes in: God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change; COURAGE to change the things I can; and WISDOM to know the difference. Life is always about change and I need to be ready to make those life changing decisions with the help of God. James 1:5, “If you need wisdom- if you want to know what God wants you to do – ask Him, and He will gladly tell you.” Also, Phillipians 4:19, “ This same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from His glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.”

Day Retreat for Widows

What a blessing it has been to meet other women going through the same things as me and helping each other through this earthly process called "life." We have enjoyed monthly gatherings with good food, lots of fun and laughter and sweet fellowship, which has been wonderful therapy for all of us. There are over 50 women in our church who have lost a spouse and the need is great to minister to them on a personal level.

We are now defining widow as, "a woman who has lost her spouse through either death, divorce or abandonment." Our goal is to love, support, accept and encourage anyone who has a need and we want to be there to meet that need. Ephesians 4:29, "Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them."

A Day Retreat of spiritual refreshment is now being planned called, "It's Not Over...Til It's Over" to be held on Saturday, October 24, 2009, from 8:30 a.m. - 2:00 p.m. God has orchestrated and put into place two guest speakers, two worship leaders, pianist, lunch, refreshments, a time to laugh, door prizes, and lots of sweet fellowhip. This retreat is being extended to all widows that want to be blessed and encouraged. It doesn't matter if they are a Christian or not, we want them to know that they are loved. The topics of our guest speakers are, "Moving Forward in Love and Freedom" and "Great Expectations."

Please keep us in prayer so that many women will come and be refreshed in spirit and truth! 1 John 5: 14, "And we can be confident that He will listen to us whenever we ask Him for anything in line with His will."

Comfort Zone

One of the best ways to move forward after the loss of your spouse is to stay busy helping others. God left us here for a purpose and we should seek His wisdom in what we are to be doing while left here on earth. Philipians 2:4 - "Don't think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing."

A few months after I became a widow I knew that God was calling me to get out of my comfort zone. I had been a preschool Sunday School teacher for over 30 years and I always thought that was my life's ministry. My desire for teaching 4 and 5 year olds soon left and I decided to attend a women's Sunday School class instead (I really needed to develop friendships and have fellowship with other women). The Sunday School lessons were just what I needed at that time in my life and I soon felt God calling me into another kind of ministry; I just wasn't sure what kind.

I met another lady at church who lost her husband about 2 months after my loss and our friendship grew. After going out to eat and visiting a few times, we knew we were on the same page and that God was calling us both to get out of our comfort zones. We decided not to dwell on the negatives of life, but to find a way to help others in our church who needed to be encouraged.

One of our pastors and secretary helped us by inviting widows from our church to a meeting, and thus a support group was started. We have been meeting together for one year as of August 2009 and we enjoy food, fun and fellowship on a monthly basis. We also have a monthly newsletter giving helpful tips, up-coming activities and uplifting devotionals. What a fitting name to be called the "Encouragers."

This ministry has blessed me in so many ways and I feel privileged to be a part of God's plan as we encourage each other.

Godly Habits

I try to start my day with prayer and reading God's Word. It just seems to set the tone for my day to go in the right direction and also in making wise decisions. I Really love that feeling of peace and knowing that God is with me throughout the day. Psalm 145: 18 - "The Lord is close to all who call on Him, yes, to all who call on Him sincerely". I also love to listen to good Christian music when I'm doing my chores, typing on the computer or driving in the car. Psalm 146:2 - "I will praise the Lord as long as I live. I will sing praises to my God even with my dying breath".

What we read, see, hear or say will affect how we live our lives and it shows the world around us what's inside. The mind is a constant battlefield, so why not feed ourselves good, clean nourishing food for our souls. Matthew 12:35, "A good person produces good words from a good heart"; Matthew 12:37 - "The words you say now reflect your fate then; either you will be justified by them or you will be condemned".

Friendships

There’s a song that says, “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world”. I love that song because it reminds me of one of the things I enjoy most - people. I grew up in a family that was very active in sports and family activities like fishing, camping, swimming, skiing, bowling and playing card games. Those special family times together helped me understand the true meaning of friendship.


As a child I was very shy, but having an older brother that was always pulling pranks on me taught me to take up for myself (or holler, “mama, he’s picking on me”). I had to always be on guard for what was about to happen next when I walked around a corner, because I knew he might jump out and try to scare me again. Even now, 60 years later, my brother is still a little mischievous, but I know he would help me if I ever needed anything and I consider him a good friend.


I think God created us to have fellowship with HIM and also other people. Friendship is a wonderful thing to have. If you are typical, your friends range from casual acquaintances to those who would die for you. Sometimes friends are closer than our own brothers or sisters. Friends share affection, companionship, confidences, consideration, devotion, faithfulness, fellowship, helpfulness, loyalty, partnership, support, sympathy, trust, and understanding. Friends are special. Above all, God can be our very best friend. His friendship is a role model for all other friendships. Proverbs 17:17 – “A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.”